In all funness...

Howdy, people! Wow, upbeat, huh? I'm in a good mood for once, well, sort of. My 12 year old sister brought an MP3 player today and I'm pissed off because I think she's too young to have one. Mum didn't listen to me, though, and let my sister buy it, forking over the extra money needed. It shits me. She's far too young and irresponsible to have one. Kids are getting far too much, far too young. MP3 players, mobile phones, even the clothes some of them wear.

But cast that aside and I had a good day. Spent most of the time out shopping with my mum and sister. We went to Traralgon plaza where I brought some new tops, really pretty ones, too. Mum brought some new shoes and we had a look around. I saw a friend of mine there. She was arriving at the same time we were and then she ended up leaving at the same time we did. Purely coincidental. After the plaza we went to ALDI to get a few things. Great store, ALDI. Worth going to.

Mid Valley was the next, and last stop. As soon as I walked in the door I saw my Kitty. She was working the Saturday shift and I didn't even know it. I talked to her for a bit and then my sister came running up to me to tell me that one of my other friends, Jovielyn, was in Valley pets with her son, my Godson, Anthony. Anthony is the cutest kid you will ever see. He's Filipino so he's got the whole, dark eyes, dark skin, and dark hair going on. So gorgeous. I talked to them for a while, after following Anthony around in Valley Pets, in which he ran around like mad, touching every thing he could. "Ooh, fish. Ooh, mouse." It was so cute.

I ran into a million people. We had lunch in the food court and mum went off to Safeway while I sat with the trolley on one of the tables. I hadn't been sitting there long, when Bethany and Patrick, Greg's sister and her boyfriend saw me and came to sit down. They ended up eating their lunch with me and we had a nice talk. After that, I did some more shopping and they seemed to be everywhere I went. EB, Target; there they were. It was pretty cool.

We saw a few more people as we were walking around. But we left pretty quickly after that. I also finally decided to buy The Da Vinci Code and it is now sitting on my bed, waiting to be read. I have to try and finish Northern Lights by Philip Pullman before I start it. I'm having trouble getting into that book but that's only because I haven't had the time to actually sit down and read it.

There were no ill effects from last nights blackout, either. At about 930pm-10pm the power for the whole of Moe and Newborough went off, for no apparent reason. My neighbor and I heard a pop as it happened so we think that a transformer (not the cartoon kind) blew up. Everything came back on about an hour later. There seem to be no side effects.

I couldn't call anyone from Yallourn North, but I heard speculation that parts of Yallourn were out. That was never confirmed.

So now, I'm sitting at my computer, drinking a drink that I conjured up with my Magic Bullet (Yay) and life is good. I got a new book, new clothes, a new movie (Hitchhiker's Guide...) and a new waiter's friend, so at the moment, I'm pretty relaxed.

I wrote a new poem while I was in class yesterday. I'll post it after I've typed it up.

Emptiness

Depression. It's such a sad word. Depress. Depressed. Depression.

Depression: The online dictionary describes it as: A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.

That explanation was not entirely the way I was feeling. The next meaning was more me... The condition of feeling sad or despondent.

I glanced at this with the intention of editing it, but truthfully, I just couldn't be stuffed. So here is yet another unedited poem that's going on the blog. Obviously, since here it is.

The explanation for this piece? I had a bad week or two.


Emptiness

Emptiness
A hole
Nothingness
Pulling, gnawing inside
A hideous monster
Unable to control it
Unable to destroy it

Draining the life
The happiness
Out of you
Until you forget
The purpose of it all
And wonder
What could you have done better?
Differently?

Sinking
Sinking
Hit the bottom
To curl up and break
Pieces scatter
Leaving you wondering
Can they be put back together?



Doesn't exactly convey what I wanted it to, but I like it nonetheless.




Emptiness © Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

Overworked, overwrought, over it all

I finally decided (sort of) what I'm going to do, for the rest of the year. I'm quitting school. School's not fun for me anymore. As much I love everyone there and as much as I like the teacher's and stuff, I just feel like I shouldn't be there. I feel out of place and I feel like I'm not learning anymore.

That's no reflection on the teacher's... they're great. It's me and my inability to concentrate or understand. There is no point in me going to school anymore. So, as of the end of August, possibly start of September, I will be out of school life for the first time since 1990. I'm sad to have to leave it. I always thought that I wouldn't leave school for a long time because if I wasn't at school, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I'm still not sure, truthfully. I can pick up more shifts at work, but I already don't have a life and I would like to try to have something resembling one. You know, actually see my friends, spend some actual time with Greg, my sister, etc. Guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I feel like my life is out of control and I have no way of reigning it in. I don't even know where to start. I think a holiday would be good. Get away from everything and everyone. Spend some time disconnected. Might be good for me.

I'm postponing Broome, I've also decided. I want plenty of money before I go and I want to see what happens with work first. Of course, if all goes wrong with work, I may just be moving earlier than I thought. That wouldn't be a bad thing. I've got plenty of people either willing to come with me, or visit often, which is cool.

I had a small dilemma last week, where I wasn't sleeping, you know, almost at all, because I was thinking about this whole moving thing. Tasmania had emerged as a candidate for my residence and I was torn as to what to do. I decided, eventually, that if I didn't go to Broome, I would regret it forever, so Broome is where I'm going. I'll holiday in Tassie when I get time.

So much has been going on lately that I feel my head is clogged and wants to breakdown and scream, "enough is enough!" On the plus side, I'm writing more than I have been in a while. On the downside of that, I'm not writing on what I should be writing; my fan-fiction, my fantasy novel. Instead, I keep starting new short stories. They're great when I first start them, then I'll look at them the next day and think, "what the hell??"

I need to open my brain and reorganise files. Anyone know how to go about doing that?

The weekend

The past few nights have been great. I stayed over at work on Friday because I was called in for work during the day. Tim had had to take over Hayley's shift because she was sick, so he called me in to cover the night shift. I duly accepted the shift (he'd sounded so desperate over the phone) and we figured that it was better for me to stay over the night since I started at 8 the next morning.

I was only supposed to be doing the shift as receptionist, and I was to back up the cafe guys if they needed it. Sam, Damien and Lauren were in the cafe, so they should have been able to handle it, even though there was a big booking taking up most of the cafe. The PDR had people in it too... Lauren could have looked after them on her own, but I realised quickly that she was in way over her head so I did the PDR with a little help from her. She needs to be trained further, Tim, if you're reading this. Sam repeatedly told her during the night what the table numbers were, and still, she didn't get it. Lauren also cleared the PDR while at least half of the table was still eating. I explained to her that she shouldn't do that until everyone had finished and she goes, "oh... right... Actually, I have been told that before."

At the end of the night, Sam and Kylie grabbed some knockoff drinks and went and sat in one of the vacant conference rooms. When I finished, I joined them and we had a nice chat, just the three of us. Damien kept interrupting every 5 minutes to ask me questions about the PDR's account, or so he said. I think he just wanted to be included.

At some time during the conversation, Kylie mentioned she felt like pizza. BY this point, even though they hadn't had that much to drink, they were getting more rowdy and it was funny as. Eventually, Kylie got up to order a pizza, Sam and I followed her into the kitchen where she made the call. Well, sort of. Sam picked up the phone. 'What's the number?'

Kylie, who was standing on the other side of the bench, shrugged. 'I think it's 131 800.'

Sam dialled the number. As the phone rang, she twisted the cord around her finger and said playfully into the phone, 'Can I get a stripper?' We all laughed.

When the other end picked up, we found the number was a Telstra recorded message. Sam dialled the number again, thinking she was dialling it wrong. We got the same message. Kylie put the phone on speaker and dialled the number herself. 'Why don't you just use Telstra call connect?' I asked.

As the number rang, Sam exclaimed to the room, 'I need to pee'. A second later, they picked up. Same message.

I picked up the phone and dialled call connect. They put me through to Domino's pizza straight away. When they guy on the end picked up, instantly I had Kylie and Sam yelling in my ears (not literally) about what they wanted. It was very distracting. I asked the guy how much a large pizza was ($13.95, delivered, in case anyone was wondering) and he told me that you can get and extra one for half price. The girls decided that was good, so I tried, bravely, I thought, to get their order from them. Eventually, after much thinking and discussing, they decided on a thin base Hawaiian. 'And the other one?'

'Oh, yeah... Thick base supreme.'

I tried to tell the dude on the other end the order, but Sam and Kylie had gotten louder. 'I'm really sorry about this,' I felt I had to say. 'They're not normally like this. Want some more workers? They can be delivery drivers or something.'

The dude just laughed. 'No, thanks. I've got enough of those.'

Later on, while we were waiting for the pizza and I was doing night audit, Kylie and Sam hung around reception, making a lot of noise. This was at about 11pm and there was only one group left in the cafe. They just weren't leaving. The girls disappeared after a while, and not long over that, the pizza arrived. I took it into the conference room and started laughing when I found them playing Celebrity Heads on the whiteboard. Apparently, Kylie had been going really well at it, but it was Sam's turn when I entered. She was Heath Ledger. Kylie had another turn, thinking she was on a roll. She was given Betty Boo. She quit playing after that.

They ate pizza, Damien came in and had some too, and Hangman was started,. I got them right, the first one was a TV show; Queer Eye... It was funny... (Sorry, Tim). We had a good night, just talking and hanging out. I got to bed way later than I should have, but it didn't matter.

Work was okay the next morning, except for the part where Hayley rang up and asked (told) me to set the cafe for the 40th birthday party that night, set the cake table up, and type up the menus. It led me to think, what exactly was she going to do when she got there? I was doing all her work for her. It sucked. Man, sometimes she's a real bitch. The best part of the 8 hour shift was when Kylie turned up for work at 2, having NOT been told that she was actually to start at 4. She sat in the cafe while I set and we talked. It was cool.

I stayed at work Saturday night also, since my bosses had gone away for the night because they hadn't been getting much sleep. When the bosses go away and someone stays over to watch the place, we are given a mobile, the one used for emergency after hours, in case someone needs help after we close. I got one call. It was a certain Housekeeper, one I mentioned previously as being inconsiderate. She just wanted to talk to my boss, the female one. I had to tell her I wasn't with her, and that I wasn't actually at work. She needed to call reception. It finally got through.

This morning's reception shift wasn't that bad, I updated the footy tipping, since the head chef, Gavin hadn't done it since Round 14. That should make some people happy. Tim leant me the Lord of the Rings extended editions so I've been watching them. I've seen the first one now and half of the second one. They're really good.

Thanks, Tim! :)

Hospitality

I wrote some poems while I was still an eager young thing, finding her way in the world. I was at Mid Valley TAFE where I was doing Cert 2 in Hospitality during high school. We were, at the time, doing Wednesday night restaurant service and I got bored one night while playing cashier... The poems suck, so I'm only putting one really short one on, but I still like them anyway... My ex-friend Sharon, so named because she is now sleeping with my 61 year old father, was the faux manager for the night. Laura was a waiter, I think. Anyhoo...


Untitled (because I don't know what to call it)

I sat staring all around me
I was slipping into boredom
They come in bunches
They come in pairs
While Sharon tries to sort them

As I said, there are others, but they're of the rhyming variety and they suck. So, this is the only one worth posting. I like it anyways since it's the first poem I wrote following that format. I wrote another one, about my year 11 maths class using that format and it was well received by the people mentioned in it. Can't think why...