Eragon fails to impress

Today Greg and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We started it with a trip to the beach, then dinner and then we went to the movies. We just got home from seeing Eragon. If you loved the books, if you thought the books were amazing and could not have been better, DON'T SEE THE MOVIE!!

It was a very, very, very, VERY poor rendition of what it could have been. So much was missed out that was needed and too much had been changed. The gedwey ignesia was not a shining sliver circle on his palm, no, it was a thin red dragon on the side of his hand. It glowed red. The reason for it being silver in the first place is because he is called Argetlam throughout the books. It means "shining palm" or "silver palm".

I have many bones to pick, as Greg will when he finishes reading the first book.

The movie actually started off well. I thought "Yay, this is gonna be great." About a quarter of the way through the movie, I was already not impressed. The first thing that got me was Saphira's wings. In the book they are normal dragon wings, hard edges, membrane skin. She has feathered wings, like a bird, in the movie.

Almost every scene with Brom in it was less spectacular than the book. So many things were changed, the worst example was Brom's death. He was supposed to die fighting the Ra'zac, but instead was killed by Durza. (Sorry if I'm giving away plot points. Don't read if you don't want to know). In the book, Brom never reached Durza in Gil'ead. He was entombed on a cliff near a cave after he died from the wound the Ra'zac left him. Saphira turned his tomb into a diamond vault of sorts, with elaborate decoration and a large spiral to top it off, not a rock shape monument as in the movie.

The Urgals were human!
Eragon was too old! 15 not 17!
Brom was too young.
The dwarves were not dwarves.
The battle scene with the Varden was not set up at all.
Arya was flirting with Eragon!
They didn't cross half the terrain they should have (a small thing, I know)
They missed all the important lead ups to the next book.

And the battle with Durza............

Eragon was supposed to struggle, really struggle and he was not supposed to walk away unscathed. The second book, Eldest, is centered around the injury he was supposed to obtain from Durza.

What will Eragon's reason be to go to Ellesmera to receive his training if not the injury?

Now I know what you might be saying, "It's just a movie, it's only based on the book". I know that, and I know that if you hadn't read the books, it may have been a somewhat decent movie, but I am sick and tired of Hollywood ruining good books. Either do it like the book or call it something else. Expectations become too high, otherwise.

Since I've had a bitch about the bad aspects, I will tell you that the scene where Saphira kidnaps Eragon, when the Ra'zac are heading for his house, is done well. In that aspect they really captured Saphira's desperation to protect him, to get him out of there and away from harm. I was also impressed with baby Saphira. So cute! Unfortunately, her growth from toddler, so to speak, and adult, happened in the blink of an eye, almost literally, and it was not even done well.

Another thing I was impressed with was Durza himself. They captured him well. The character was amazing.

I wonder, as Greg pointed out, how Paolini feels about this movie...

Feelin' hot, hot, hot... Fire update!

I got a call from my friend Rhiannon today. She told me to be on alert as the fires were heading towards Morwell and Traralgon. She's a CFA member so she knows what she's talking about.

Anyone reading this (those of you in the Morwell, Traralgon area) make sure you are aware of the things you want to take with you and have them close by. Within the next couple of days, if the fire proceeds the way it is, we will be put on high alert and within a week it could move to possibly evacuating parts of Morwell and Traralgon. The fire is moving fast and is burning up a LOT of precious forest land. Considering the heat and how dry it is, once it hits the open areas, we can expects a much bigger and scarier blaze.

Make sure you have places to go if evacuation becomes necessary and alert those who may not know about what's happening. It doesn't pay to be stupid.

Long time no see

Hi. How's things? It's been a while. Sorry about that.

I moved out of my home in Moe into a house in Morwell with Gregory. Therefore I have not had access to the internet because I had to get it disconnected and then eventually get it on here at the new place. That finally happened yesterday, so I thought maybe I should actually update some things. I hadn't even looked at my emails for over a week. The last time was a quick check once I'd finished work. When I finally did, I had 45 messages and most were from family. Whoops.

I'm here, now. If that helps any.

Since my last post, I have moved out of home, as I said and it was a pretty big job. I never realised that one girl could accumulate so much stuff. I shocked myself. I think I'm finally moved in.

I went to the Werribee Open Range Zoo with Katie, which was pretty cool. I still like the Melbourne Zoo better, though... Although Werribee was all open and you could walk amongst the animals, there just wasn't as much to see and we actually weren't there for long, whereas we spent almost all day at the Melbourne one. Still I got some really nice photos Here is a few...


The meerkats were really cool. Katie made me... okay, not actually MADE me.... take heaps of photos of them. At one point, a group of them actually ran up to where we were standing and were sitting in front of the glass, about twelve of them, and it was so cool. It was like they were posing for us.

In Werribee Zoo, just before the Hippo enclosure, there were all these fake hippos set into the ground, like a fake natural setting. It looked really cool. Water was spraying everywhere, too. It was unexpected. We got wet.

The Cheetas were beautiful. The first time we went to see them they were sleeping. When we came back after the Safari tour, they were prowling around and when we got there, they began to prowl near the glass; we got some great shots. Really close ones.

After the Zoo, we traveled into Werribee to see my Auntie Kerrie. She wasn't home when we got there so we decided to go see her boyfriend Colin who is a Police Officer. He was out in a car when we got there so we abandoned that and headed back to their house to see Kerrie was home yet. She wasn't. We went for a walk and she still wasn't back when we got back and I said to Katie in passing that it would be funny if Kerrie had gone out for tea with workmates or something, not knowing we were here.

Deciding to go for another walk, we left my car outside their place and walked up to the local shopping center. They live in an estate called Manor Lakes in Werribee and it has its own small shopping center. While we were in the newsagency, talking to the really cool people working there, Colin called me on my mobile. He'd seen my car there and wanted to know where we were. In the end, he came and picked us up from the shopping center, wearing full police uniform, to my and Katie's delight, and drove us home in his unmarked police car. He wouldn't let us touch anything, though.

We had the option of staying there at their place or going shopping at Werribee Plaza. Werribee Plaza is the size of Mid Valley and Traralgon Plaza combined... and extended. It goes on for ages. It is a very long plaza.

While we were there, Kerrie called us and we met her for coffee and cake. It was so great to meet up with her. I miss her a lot when we don't see each other. She reminds me so much of my nana.

The next day Katie and I went on a Warehouse shopping trip with her mum and one of her sisters. Some of those places were not cheap. UFO was very expensive, so was the Christmas shop we went to and the toy one as well. The toys were cheaper at Big W.

The next day I went to Cowarr Weir with my GFS group and church. It was fun. I got sunburned on my shoulders.

The NEXT day I left for my five day holiday in Lakes Entrance. That was Monday the 27th of November. We got back the 1st. I really needed that holiday. I got a really nice tan, too. Katie, my mum, my sister and me were the only ones to go. We packed that much into those 5 days it was great. Paddle boats, swimming (pool and beach), Buchan Caves, shopping, Mini Golf(4 rounds of it), BBQ's, a dolphin cruise (no dolphins in sight), coffee in one of the nice (but very expensive) restaurants, lunch at the Lakes Entertainment Center and the RSL, quite a few walks, we got stalked by a swan and its two signets, a couple of stops at the info center, a shell museum tour and that's all I can think of right now. We just relaxed. It was great.

Work hadn't been that great for me lately so it was very important that I go on that holiday. Now I'm back and refreshed. Work may just benefit from that.

Drinks all round!!

Well, for you, anyway, since I don't drink... My birthday was on the Wednesday that just passed. We didn't do any of the choices listed in the previous post; instead, we went to Leggies (The Moe Hotel) for dinner. I didn't want to do anything, as you know, but in the end I had a lot of fun. Greg's entire immediate family came, as well as my mum and sister, my Kitty and Rhiannon and obviously me. I thinks that's it.

Presents... Present... I got The Little Mermaid (YAY) on DVD as well as Lady and the Tramp (Thanks Greg and Katie), also from Kitty I got a picture of myself and my actual kitty, Casper, it was really cute, I also got a gift voucher from my dad, a Sanity gift voucher from Rhiannon, which will get me Shannon Noll's CD, a gift voucher from Greg's sister, Bethany and her boyfriend Patrick gave me a gift voucher for House, which I'm gonna have fun with, and I got a beautiful photo box from the rest of his family. The highlight of the night, though the night was fun, was opening Katie's present and finding a whole lot of glitter (which promptly went EVERYWHERE).

I had the chicken satay for tea, as did Katie. It's our favourite there, and the garlic bread is the best we've ever had. The garlic bread is not the traditional loaf, it's actually that Turkish loaf stuff cut in half with the garlic butter spread over it. It makes for a very tasty dish. There was a odd mix up with the meals, which resulted in Greg's mum getting a previously owned steak (Rhiannon was the previous owner). It was wrong. Especially since we all knew and saw Rhiannon cut the piece and stuff...

We got home afterwards and watched House, but as soon as that was finished, Katie and I watched The Little Mermaid. I have been waiting to get that movie for so long now... I was so happy. That's all I wanted for my birthday. Well... not ALL I wanted...

I'm moving out this weekend coming. It was supposed to be the weekend that just passed but complications (no gas, no power) made that impossible... I'm kinda excited. I'm going to be living on my own (away from family, I mean... Greg will be there) and supporting myself and I won't have my mum there to do everything for me. We'll see how that works out. I'll most likely start complaining soon after the move. I'll miss my mum. My sister... not so much. Her attitude lately has been horrible. She's treating mum like shit and it's getting worse. Mum will be sending her to the new place to stay with us for weekends, so the little shit's not gonna know what hit her.

I don't know how many people have pay TV but tonight (Sunday) a new show started up on Fox8. I've seen previews of it for about a month now and it looks great. Watching it, it's really interesting stuff. It's called Black and White. Two families, one black and one white, change races and live six weeks as each other. It's amazing, the way they change the white people into black people and vice versa. The results are unbelievable. You see them compare notes and talk things out, there is even some coaching happening. If you haven't seen it, do.

Howdy!

What's been happening lately? I wish I could say a lot, but in reality, that's not true. I went to the Melbourne show (which was not all that it's cracked up to be), I've been pretty sick, but you don't want to hear about that, I've been working non stop (nine days in a row this week) and I'm moving out of home.

I'm moving out. It's scary, actually. I want the seclusion, I crave the seclusion, but I'm leaving home. Leaving my mum, my sister and everything I've ever known I want privacy, my own space, as it's something I severely lack at home... But as Peter Pan would say, "It's an awfully big adventure..."

I've got almost everything I need. It's cool too because my dad is actually going to make me a few other things, like a wardrobe and book shelves... He did the robes for mum's house and the wall unit in the lounge.

News... My birthday's next week. I turn 22 on the 18th of October. I have to work that day which sucks. People keep asking me what I'm doing for it but the thing is, I don't know what to do. I'm 22. My days of big birthdays are over. I'm all out of ideas. I actually suggested to Katie that we go to Hungry Jacks and utilise their party room, but that is too close to my 21st which I held at McDonald's in the party room. So I said no. Would be fun though. Maybe I'll just do nothing. Ignore the whole thing. It would save me a lot of trouble, but I know I'll be disappointed if I did.

Katie and I have been going to different restaurants for a long time now and tonight we went somewhere we've never been. We went to a place in Morwell called Turkuaz. The food wasn't bad. Filling, though. We had the Chicken Doner Kebab which is a heap of chicken piled on tip of rice, and the Iskender Kebab which is Lamb... lots and lots of lamb, piled on top of a bread, dough thing, with a rich tomato sauce over the top with a dressing of yogurt over that. It was very good, very rich. You can't eat a whole lot of it. Kitty and I got through about half of each dish and called it quits. There was just too much. Next time, if we get something huge, we're taking Greg or Kylie or someone to share with us.

Next week, or next time, we're going to Amigo's again. Good food there, if a little unusual. Mexican. After that we're going to Out of India. We feel it's time to try new things. In all aspects of life.

Kids say the dumbest things...

And my sister is no exception. Every now and then she comes out with one gem or another. A couple of years ago we were driving back from Warragul and she goes "My stomach feels nauseous." She was 8? at the time...

Today though, really took the cake and trampled all over it, too... I spent most of the day with my sister... and it was a long day... It started a 530am for me... Just after lunch time we went to Greg's place because I had accidentally taken home the work emergency mobile and had to return it. When we got back to his place, Erin kept bugging him so I told her to go find a movie to watch, just to get rid of her. Greg figured why not and told her put on Aladdin, a movie he doesn't have.

She searched all over his room, but couldn't find it. It was funny. Now, to understand the next part, you need the backstory. A couple of weeks ago, Greg was at my place and my sister decided she was going out somewhere. She got changed (because she's a little drama queen who's in love with herself) and came out of her room wearing a really small pink skirt. She's 12. Jokingly, I wolfwhistled at her and catcalled and she sneered at me and Greg. To shit her (and Greg in no small part) I turned to Greg and said loudly, "Stop checking out my sister". They both looked at me in disgust; I laughed. It amused me.

Anyhoo, I made a few other similar comments until I felt sure they were both about to strangle me then I let it go.

What happened today was that Erin was searching for Aladdin and she suddenly called out "ooh, there's more here" meaning the DVD's Greg has under his desk. Greg and I were both in the lounge so we couldn't see her, but Greg decided to mess with her. "You're hot" he called out, intending it to mean that she was close to it, but I of course took it a different way and almost had a heart attack I was laughing so hard. What made it so hilarious was that immediately after he'd said that, Erin had gone "Eww!" really loudly. I don't think she even heard what Greg said; it was just really, really, REALLY great timing.

Sorry Greg, I had to share it; it was funny...

Stupid people make stupid mistakes

My God some people are dumb! Like, seriously. There are that many people I know or I have met that have just made me cringe for the future of the human race. It's very frustrating coming face to face with one such person. Talking to them over the phone is even worse.

At work I had a call a few months ago from a woman who wanted to make a booking to stay for a few people she worked with. I explained everything to her; process, room types, the restaurant, etc... and she asked me to repeat myself, 4 times. I was very irritated but I hid that behind politeness. I've never shown a customer my real feelings. No matter how irritated, how angry I am with someone, no matter how tired I am, I am always polite and upbeat. Anyway, this woman wanted to know things like, if the group was to take a bus, can we arrange for the group to meet in the lobby and a whole lot of other crap like that. She drove me crazy. She ended up actually coming in to see me. It was a shake you head and roll your eyes moment.

What started this tirade was an incident at work in the past week. Hayley. This past week or so she has done nothing right. She keeps screwing up and now I know for sure that I am not the only one that is sure her days are numbered. The biggest screw up this week was one that I was confronted with directly.

On Monday night I was happily working when the bell that signaled some one was waiting at reception rang. I dutifully made my way to reception and an oldish gentleman was standing patiently waiting. 'How ya going?' I greeted cheerily. 'Can I help you?'

'Yes, I have a booking here, Dobos is the name.' He seemed nice enough.

I checked the bookings and there were only two people left to check in. Neither of them were the gentleman standing before me. Bugger. 'I don't seem to have your booking here. Are you sure it's here you booked at?'

'I didn't make the booking. Leonie did. I'm with the APM. Australian Paper.'

'Yes, we do have a few APM people staying here,' I nodded. I got him to spell his name so I could search for it but I got confused and he had to repeat it more than once. I tried to let him down lightly. 'I don't seem to have your booking I'm afraid. How long ago was the booking made?' He didn't know. I told him the names of the other people to check in but he didn't recognise them. At that point both of my bosses walked in.

'Is there a problem?' I briefly gave them a rundown. My boss (female) took over. She tried to sort out what happened by asking they guy a series of questions. I could see he was getting irritated; not at her, but in general. His booking should have been there. My boss, seeing the irritation, took it personally and began to get testy.

'Look,' she sort of snapped. 'This is not our fault, I want you to understand that-'

'I'm not blaming you,' the guy tried to defend himself. And it went on like that for a few minutes.

A few frantic calls were made and we finally found someone who was able to tell us that one of the guys who was supposed to be coming wasn't coming til morning. We gave this guy his room. So at least he had a place to stay. It was either that or drive back to Melbourne and we didn't want him to do that. His company (AP) had a huge conference on the next day (they'd booked out all the conference rooms). After he'd gone to his room, my boss turned to me and said, 'go through every email we received from them. I want to know if he did actually have a booking.'

I jumped right on it. Within a minute I found the email I was looking for. There was an email from the woman from AP with 4 names on it, all asking for accommodation. All clearly printed, the dates equally clearly on it. I told my boss.

'Right. Print it off and put it only Hayley's desk. I'll deal with this tomorrow.' She turned to her husband. 'I'm sick of these fucking mistakes.'

That was last I heard of that conversation.

Tim was questioned later on about it. He knew nothing. The whole conference, accommodation included, had been handled by Hayley. It was her screw up. My bosses were not happy. It was a fairly big screw up since these people are one of our biggest clients. I shudder to think of the fallout the next morning once Hayley got to work. Kinda funny though. Tim and I had a good laugh over it. Her days are definitely numbered. She can't keep making stupid mistakes hoping no one will notice.

That's enough about work. Talking about that moron actually makes me want to scream in frustration.

I saw an old friend today, someone I haven't seen in a while. He works in Coles and I got to talk to him for a bit while mum went through the checkout. It was really good to catch up with him. Made me feel nostalgic for the "old days" when I was in high school and all my friends were still my friends and normal. He said we should get together sometime, all of our group, like we used to be and we should. It's been a while.

The Melbourne show's coming up. I'm going, as I do every year. Looks good this year, although, going by what the showguide says, it's going to be a bit more expensive than usual. The price we pay for fun. It's a day away from home, work and the Latrobe Valley. I'm going.

Casper

I wrote this poem for fun, so don't pick on it. I was bored and my cat was acting weird. This is what came from that. I thought it would make a nice change from the stuff I've been writing lately. I still have to post the one I wrote the other day but it's in my car and I can't be bothered going and getting it.


Casper


Light feet
Padding quietly against
The decaying carpet
Moonless night
Darkness
A white smear
Against black canvass

Speed
Light feet
Agile
She moves
With the night
More apart of it
Than we'll ever be

Graceful
Loving
Forgiving
Loyal to the end
A part of me
My cat
My precious



Casper © Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

In all funness...

Howdy, people! Wow, upbeat, huh? I'm in a good mood for once, well, sort of. My 12 year old sister brought an MP3 player today and I'm pissed off because I think she's too young to have one. Mum didn't listen to me, though, and let my sister buy it, forking over the extra money needed. It shits me. She's far too young and irresponsible to have one. Kids are getting far too much, far too young. MP3 players, mobile phones, even the clothes some of them wear.

But cast that aside and I had a good day. Spent most of the time out shopping with my mum and sister. We went to Traralgon plaza where I brought some new tops, really pretty ones, too. Mum brought some new shoes and we had a look around. I saw a friend of mine there. She was arriving at the same time we were and then she ended up leaving at the same time we did. Purely coincidental. After the plaza we went to ALDI to get a few things. Great store, ALDI. Worth going to.

Mid Valley was the next, and last stop. As soon as I walked in the door I saw my Kitty. She was working the Saturday shift and I didn't even know it. I talked to her for a bit and then my sister came running up to me to tell me that one of my other friends, Jovielyn, was in Valley pets with her son, my Godson, Anthony. Anthony is the cutest kid you will ever see. He's Filipino so he's got the whole, dark eyes, dark skin, and dark hair going on. So gorgeous. I talked to them for a while, after following Anthony around in Valley Pets, in which he ran around like mad, touching every thing he could. "Ooh, fish. Ooh, mouse." It was so cute.

I ran into a million people. We had lunch in the food court and mum went off to Safeway while I sat with the trolley on one of the tables. I hadn't been sitting there long, when Bethany and Patrick, Greg's sister and her boyfriend saw me and came to sit down. They ended up eating their lunch with me and we had a nice talk. After that, I did some more shopping and they seemed to be everywhere I went. EB, Target; there they were. It was pretty cool.

We saw a few more people as we were walking around. But we left pretty quickly after that. I also finally decided to buy The Da Vinci Code and it is now sitting on my bed, waiting to be read. I have to try and finish Northern Lights by Philip Pullman before I start it. I'm having trouble getting into that book but that's only because I haven't had the time to actually sit down and read it.

There were no ill effects from last nights blackout, either. At about 930pm-10pm the power for the whole of Moe and Newborough went off, for no apparent reason. My neighbor and I heard a pop as it happened so we think that a transformer (not the cartoon kind) blew up. Everything came back on about an hour later. There seem to be no side effects.

I couldn't call anyone from Yallourn North, but I heard speculation that parts of Yallourn were out. That was never confirmed.

So now, I'm sitting at my computer, drinking a drink that I conjured up with my Magic Bullet (Yay) and life is good. I got a new book, new clothes, a new movie (Hitchhiker's Guide...) and a new waiter's friend, so at the moment, I'm pretty relaxed.

I wrote a new poem while I was in class yesterday. I'll post it after I've typed it up.

Emptiness

Depression. It's such a sad word. Depress. Depressed. Depression.

Depression: The online dictionary describes it as: A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.

That explanation was not entirely the way I was feeling. The next meaning was more me... The condition of feeling sad or despondent.

I glanced at this with the intention of editing it, but truthfully, I just couldn't be stuffed. So here is yet another unedited poem that's going on the blog. Obviously, since here it is.

The explanation for this piece? I had a bad week or two.


Emptiness

Emptiness
A hole
Nothingness
Pulling, gnawing inside
A hideous monster
Unable to control it
Unable to destroy it

Draining the life
The happiness
Out of you
Until you forget
The purpose of it all
And wonder
What could you have done better?
Differently?

Sinking
Sinking
Hit the bottom
To curl up and break
Pieces scatter
Leaving you wondering
Can they be put back together?



Doesn't exactly convey what I wanted it to, but I like it nonetheless.




Emptiness © Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

Overworked, overwrought, over it all

I finally decided (sort of) what I'm going to do, for the rest of the year. I'm quitting school. School's not fun for me anymore. As much I love everyone there and as much as I like the teacher's and stuff, I just feel like I shouldn't be there. I feel out of place and I feel like I'm not learning anymore.

That's no reflection on the teacher's... they're great. It's me and my inability to concentrate or understand. There is no point in me going to school anymore. So, as of the end of August, possibly start of September, I will be out of school life for the first time since 1990. I'm sad to have to leave it. I always thought that I wouldn't leave school for a long time because if I wasn't at school, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I'm still not sure, truthfully. I can pick up more shifts at work, but I already don't have a life and I would like to try to have something resembling one. You know, actually see my friends, spend some actual time with Greg, my sister, etc. Guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I feel like my life is out of control and I have no way of reigning it in. I don't even know where to start. I think a holiday would be good. Get away from everything and everyone. Spend some time disconnected. Might be good for me.

I'm postponing Broome, I've also decided. I want plenty of money before I go and I want to see what happens with work first. Of course, if all goes wrong with work, I may just be moving earlier than I thought. That wouldn't be a bad thing. I've got plenty of people either willing to come with me, or visit often, which is cool.

I had a small dilemma last week, where I wasn't sleeping, you know, almost at all, because I was thinking about this whole moving thing. Tasmania had emerged as a candidate for my residence and I was torn as to what to do. I decided, eventually, that if I didn't go to Broome, I would regret it forever, so Broome is where I'm going. I'll holiday in Tassie when I get time.

So much has been going on lately that I feel my head is clogged and wants to breakdown and scream, "enough is enough!" On the plus side, I'm writing more than I have been in a while. On the downside of that, I'm not writing on what I should be writing; my fan-fiction, my fantasy novel. Instead, I keep starting new short stories. They're great when I first start them, then I'll look at them the next day and think, "what the hell??"

I need to open my brain and reorganise files. Anyone know how to go about doing that?

The weekend

The past few nights have been great. I stayed over at work on Friday because I was called in for work during the day. Tim had had to take over Hayley's shift because she was sick, so he called me in to cover the night shift. I duly accepted the shift (he'd sounded so desperate over the phone) and we figured that it was better for me to stay over the night since I started at 8 the next morning.

I was only supposed to be doing the shift as receptionist, and I was to back up the cafe guys if they needed it. Sam, Damien and Lauren were in the cafe, so they should have been able to handle it, even though there was a big booking taking up most of the cafe. The PDR had people in it too... Lauren could have looked after them on her own, but I realised quickly that she was in way over her head so I did the PDR with a little help from her. She needs to be trained further, Tim, if you're reading this. Sam repeatedly told her during the night what the table numbers were, and still, she didn't get it. Lauren also cleared the PDR while at least half of the table was still eating. I explained to her that she shouldn't do that until everyone had finished and she goes, "oh... right... Actually, I have been told that before."

At the end of the night, Sam and Kylie grabbed some knockoff drinks and went and sat in one of the vacant conference rooms. When I finished, I joined them and we had a nice chat, just the three of us. Damien kept interrupting every 5 minutes to ask me questions about the PDR's account, or so he said. I think he just wanted to be included.

At some time during the conversation, Kylie mentioned she felt like pizza. BY this point, even though they hadn't had that much to drink, they were getting more rowdy and it was funny as. Eventually, Kylie got up to order a pizza, Sam and I followed her into the kitchen where she made the call. Well, sort of. Sam picked up the phone. 'What's the number?'

Kylie, who was standing on the other side of the bench, shrugged. 'I think it's 131 800.'

Sam dialled the number. As the phone rang, she twisted the cord around her finger and said playfully into the phone, 'Can I get a stripper?' We all laughed.

When the other end picked up, we found the number was a Telstra recorded message. Sam dialled the number again, thinking she was dialling it wrong. We got the same message. Kylie put the phone on speaker and dialled the number herself. 'Why don't you just use Telstra call connect?' I asked.

As the number rang, Sam exclaimed to the room, 'I need to pee'. A second later, they picked up. Same message.

I picked up the phone and dialled call connect. They put me through to Domino's pizza straight away. When they guy on the end picked up, instantly I had Kylie and Sam yelling in my ears (not literally) about what they wanted. It was very distracting. I asked the guy how much a large pizza was ($13.95, delivered, in case anyone was wondering) and he told me that you can get and extra one for half price. The girls decided that was good, so I tried, bravely, I thought, to get their order from them. Eventually, after much thinking and discussing, they decided on a thin base Hawaiian. 'And the other one?'

'Oh, yeah... Thick base supreme.'

I tried to tell the dude on the other end the order, but Sam and Kylie had gotten louder. 'I'm really sorry about this,' I felt I had to say. 'They're not normally like this. Want some more workers? They can be delivery drivers or something.'

The dude just laughed. 'No, thanks. I've got enough of those.'

Later on, while we were waiting for the pizza and I was doing night audit, Kylie and Sam hung around reception, making a lot of noise. This was at about 11pm and there was only one group left in the cafe. They just weren't leaving. The girls disappeared after a while, and not long over that, the pizza arrived. I took it into the conference room and started laughing when I found them playing Celebrity Heads on the whiteboard. Apparently, Kylie had been going really well at it, but it was Sam's turn when I entered. She was Heath Ledger. Kylie had another turn, thinking she was on a roll. She was given Betty Boo. She quit playing after that.

They ate pizza, Damien came in and had some too, and Hangman was started,. I got them right, the first one was a TV show; Queer Eye... It was funny... (Sorry, Tim). We had a good night, just talking and hanging out. I got to bed way later than I should have, but it didn't matter.

Work was okay the next morning, except for the part where Hayley rang up and asked (told) me to set the cafe for the 40th birthday party that night, set the cake table up, and type up the menus. It led me to think, what exactly was she going to do when she got there? I was doing all her work for her. It sucked. Man, sometimes she's a real bitch. The best part of the 8 hour shift was when Kylie turned up for work at 2, having NOT been told that she was actually to start at 4. She sat in the cafe while I set and we talked. It was cool.

I stayed at work Saturday night also, since my bosses had gone away for the night because they hadn't been getting much sleep. When the bosses go away and someone stays over to watch the place, we are given a mobile, the one used for emergency after hours, in case someone needs help after we close. I got one call. It was a certain Housekeeper, one I mentioned previously as being inconsiderate. She just wanted to talk to my boss, the female one. I had to tell her I wasn't with her, and that I wasn't actually at work. She needed to call reception. It finally got through.

This morning's reception shift wasn't that bad, I updated the footy tipping, since the head chef, Gavin hadn't done it since Round 14. That should make some people happy. Tim leant me the Lord of the Rings extended editions so I've been watching them. I've seen the first one now and half of the second one. They're really good.

Thanks, Tim! :)

Hospitality

I wrote some poems while I was still an eager young thing, finding her way in the world. I was at Mid Valley TAFE where I was doing Cert 2 in Hospitality during high school. We were, at the time, doing Wednesday night restaurant service and I got bored one night while playing cashier... The poems suck, so I'm only putting one really short one on, but I still like them anyway... My ex-friend Sharon, so named because she is now sleeping with my 61 year old father, was the faux manager for the night. Laura was a waiter, I think. Anyhoo...


Untitled (because I don't know what to call it)

I sat staring all around me
I was slipping into boredom
They come in bunches
They come in pairs
While Sharon tries to sort them

As I said, there are others, but they're of the rhyming variety and they suck. So, this is the only one worth posting. I like it anyways since it's the first poem I wrote following that format. I wrote another one, about my year 11 maths class using that format and it was well received by the people mentioned in it. Can't think why...

Computers... ugh!

Sometimes I really hate computers! They hardly ever do what you want them to do and they seem to screw up a lot. You can tell a male made them... I've had this program Warez P2P for a couple of years now and it allowed me to download music as I wished. Last year I downloaded an upgrade for it and everything continued on fine... The other day I downloaded another update, because the program wasn't working properly and it screwed up on me. It refused to work! Then in order to make it work, the company wanted to charge me. Don't think so!

I consulted my brother and he directed me to a program called LimeWire. I downloaded it and it seems okay. It works, that's the main thing. It frustrated me because there was music I wanted, but couldn't get. I don't like to be kept away from music. I need it to survive. Like I need chocolate!

Plus, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but the internet has gotten really boring. It's ridiculous. There is not much worthwhile content on it anywhere... I get on the internet and half an hour later, I'm ready to log off... I don't actually; I just bum around, searching for nothing in particular, until it's time to go to bed. Nothing better to do. Then again, if bored, there's always game sites like Miniclip...

The happenings, as of late...

Monday night was an odd night. It was kinda boring, in the way that I was really tired and just couldn't concentrate. I had to do all setups and it's not challenging. It's the same thing over and over again; that's one of the reasons why I'm contemplating leaving school. Although, to be fair, school is cool at the moment. The set ups are hard, don't get me wrong. They take a lot out of you, especially when you have to lift and carry the tables constantly and stuff, it's tiring, but I can do this stuff easily. Too easily maybe. I don't know how to explain it. Hopefully, it's understood by whoever is reading this.

The cafe was also surprisingly very busy. We get a lot of people in all the time, but for some reason, there just seemed to be way more people than usual and we were screwed. I had to be pulled away from conference sets to help out. It was mad! My old high school teachers were in for dinner, well, some of them anyway. It was cool. Mr Mackenzie actually recognised me, as did Mr Williams. Mr Nicholls is part of the church I attend (once in a blue moon) so I see him all the time. There were 14 of them there and I only recognised 9 of them. The others are new, I assume.

The worst part of the night was when I started doing the setup for one of the bigger conference rooms. I read the function sheet that tells me all the details and it said "Data Pro and Laptop". The thing was, I'd already set that up in one of the other rooms because they also needed it. Hayley screwed up and double booked the equipment. Moron. We only have one of each and they can't be in two places at once. I tried to call her at about 930 to see what she wanted to do, but she didn't answer her phone, so I tried to call Fran because they live together, but she didn't pick up either. They only thing we could think of was to send her a text message so she'd see it in the morning. Tim sent it. I wanted him to call her a moron but he refused. Something about not wanting to be in trouble. Even when she's not at work, she makes my life hell. Cow.

That night finished really late. It shouldn't have. I don't know why it did but for some reason, time escaped me yet again. It's been happening a lot lately. I almost hurt myself, actually. The trestle tables are really heavy and so our bosses brought a trolley that will aid us in carrying them. The thing is, the trolley is not completely secure. As I was pushing it towards the function room, it almost toppled backwards onto my head. Dangerous stuff. Could have killed me, I reckon. But it didn't so it's all good.

The best part of the night was the drive home and not for any obvious reasons. Tim followed me home and it was funny because he kept driving up beside me to wave, then he'd fall back behind me and follow me. I thought he was just being odd, and funny, but I found out that the reason he kept dropping back was because he was unnerved by the fog. I've been around fog most of my life (my parents are seasonal workers) so I'm confident around it, but I'm not stupid. I kept my concentration firmly on the road, watched where I was going (except for the times when I didn't notice the white lines moving away so I neglected follow them) and kept at a slower speed. Tim followed me so that if anything happened to me, he'd be able to see it and stop in time. He figured he was safe if he stayed behind me.

I worked Tuesday night also and not long after I got there, Hayley arrived. I have no idea why, she's supposed to work in the morning and then leave; that's the arrangement I made with the devil. But there she was, and she was also straight into the kitchen scabbing food. Seagull. While in there putting cups at the sink, I stupidly mentioned the Data pro and Laptop mix up and I asked her if she had managed to solve it. She then went on this huge rant about how she didn't like waking up with that message on her phone and how she then had to run around, panicked, trying to find another and blah, blah, blah. She then went on to say that from now on I should check the sheets to make sure this didn't happen again and I should do this and I should do that. It sounded like she was blaming me for her mistake. Hell no! There was no way she was pinning that on me. It was all her. She made the bookings, she should check them. It's not my fault. I got irritated so I said to her "It's not only my fault" and she's just hastily gone "oh, no, no, no, I'm not blaming you." Bullshit.

I'm so over Hayley.

A funny moment at work last night: I helped out the cafe staff by taking the room service trays. Lucky I did because this woman opened the door and was hiding behind it when she first opened it. When she saw it was me, she stepped out. She'd been in the shower and was clad in only a towel. I'm sure she was glad it was me and not Damien or Tim. It amused me for an hour or so.

Fun, fun, fun...

I had a good night at work last night. We were booked out in the cafe and had 23 people in the PDR. For the start of the night, there was only Tim, Fran and myself on as well as the kitchen staff. Fran had already done her rostered 8 hours, but was cruelly made to do more, since we were short staffed. Sam turned up eventually and things went smoothly after that.

The people in the PDR, the group I looked after all night, had just gotten married at my work, and were having the reception there as well. It was a really lovely ceremony. What I saw of it anyway. We tried to give them some privacy by not walking through every 5 minutes. They were a great group; very friendly. The woman who got married was the daughter of the woman who owned La Porchetta in Traralgon. One of her family members had a little boy there and he spent the night running around; he was so cute! The meals got messed up; a woman who ordered beef, got pork (she refused to swap after she got it) so one woman who ordered pork, didn't get it until a bit later but she was okay with that. They night ended well; everyone was happy so it was all good.

Once everyone was gone, cafe and PDR as well, we all gathered in the cafe for our breaks. Gavin, Kylie, Tim, Fran, Sam and I just sat there and talked. It was fun. I ate cake; Fran insulted me; Kylie talked about her idol, Kylie Minogue; Gavin repeated himself over and over again; Fran almost fell asleep at the table and I watched most of it with a smile on my face. These people are fun, but they're even better when they're all together. Sam is the one who gave me the nickname Chuggles.

It always amazes me how crazy she becomes as the night wears on. The more tired she gets, the more out there her behaviour comes. Chuggles came about one night while we were doing a set up. We kept dropping tables and falling over them because we were both really worn out. After falling over one of the trestle tables, I helped her to carry it and we started babbling to each other. Suddenly, she turned to me and said, "Thanks, Chuggles." I looked at her enquiringly and she said "I don't know what Chuggles means, but if it was real, you'd do it." I assume it's something between a giggle and a chuckle. Who knows with Sam.

While we were sitting down, and Fran made me make her a mug of green tea, Sam and the others were talking and they got onto the subject of shoes and moccasins somehow (I think someone was wearing them). Sam said something so deep and profound that I felt I had to share it with everyone. Here is Sam's reason for why people wear different footwear. "People in Morwell go barefoot because Centrelink is Morwell so they don't have to go far. Moe people only have to catch the train then walk from the station so they only need moccasins. Traralgon people are further away, therefore they need the whole Ugg boot." I missed the start of the conversation so I have no idea what brought that on. Funny though.

Tonight wasn't as good though. I almost didn't get everything done which sucked. Luckily I got everything done that needed to be done. It would have been really bad if I hadn't. Sometimes I struggle to fill the six hour shift, but tonight, the time just got away from me. It was unreal. It's all good.

Odds and ends

This week hasn't been a bad week, far as things go. I worked Monday night and I got to go home early, thanks to Tim. Tim rocks! I'd done all my work and still had an hour rostered on but I had nothing to do so I went home. Yay me!

The next night I was not so lucky. I stayed an hour over my shift time, which is funny 'cause our boss, the male one, is really tight with money, so he put on the roster; END ROSTER TIME INDICITIVE ONLY!!! Direct quote. It's very hard to end a shift on time though, especially when there is so many things to do and not enough time to do it in. Lately Kylie and Ashton have taken to asking me how Greg is and I'm not sure why. I told them it makes me suspicious so they're doing more often now... like, every time they see me.

On Wednesday (and this is the highlight of my week) Katie and I went out for tea at Qu-bar and then we, along with Greg, went to see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. It was very good. Very funny. I'm not giving away any plot lines, though. Go see it for yourself. I will say, though, that the ending is not right. It's a bad ending. A bad, bad, bad ending. Bad. Really bad. Really. Sorry, got away from myself there...

Thurday wasn't as good, but lets face it, nothing could top the night before. I had school during the day; that was good. Then, later on that night, I had GFS. It was talent night. That meant 15 girls showing off their "talents". Most of them sang a song. Most of them couldn't sing. It was sad. And more than annoying.

Today was okay. We had school. Short story. It was good. We were supposed to bring in some objects for a bower (made by bower birds, look it up for more info) or bring in a recipe and an object you'd put in it (something meaningful, i suppose) in response to the reading of Coffee cake, by Jacilyn Moriarty (not spelled right). I actually wrote a peice for my fantasy novel and I was pretty happy with it. That doesn't happen very often.

After school, we (Greg and I) picked mum up from the post office and went to Mid Valley. They were having a huge 1 day sale and mum wanted some things. I talked to Katie and we saw Len and Lee, but the trip was otherwise unexciting.

My sister is also an usher for the Lowanna College musical. It's called The Outsiders and she said it's good, which means I won't like it. When I went to Lowanna, back in my hey day, I worked on the musicals as well. I worked backstage and I told my sister that, making it seem as though she were inferior to me because she wasn't doing what I did. The reason why she's not doing it? "I'm not strong enough." I laughed. It's true. She's so little. Next year she want's to be in it. It remains to be seen whether it will happen or not.

Unhappiness

This is a poem I wrote while I was at work. I haven't edited it and I haven't really looked at it since it was created, so if it's off, blame me. I don't care.


Unhappiness

Unhappiness
Is not just an emotion
It is a thing
A cloud looming over you
Shadowing all the good things
Throwing into sharp relief
All the bad things
It is no one thing
No tangible or physical being
But a burden
A weight
That holds you down
So you forget how to fly

Unhappiness © Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

So many problems, so little time.

Sometimes, I really wish I was elsewhere... Things haven't been going that well lately and I don't really know what to do about it. I think I'm unhappy. I've never really been happy so I'm not really sure.

I've been working a bit lately. I helped Fran out with a busy breakfast on Sunday, (I wasted an hour of her time just talking to her after my shift was over) after which I went to Greg's. I was called in on Monday night, as the cafe got busy and that shift was okay, I had fun. Kylie and Ashton have a habit of asking me how Greg is now and it makes me suspicious... I think that's why they do it. They're fun.

During the night, Kylie came up to me and confessed that she'd felt like stabbing one of our bosses. We have two bosses, one male and one female. They're also married. The female one has a habit of getting in everyone's way. I know she means well, but it is more than annoying when you're in a rush and she stops you to do something else. You can't say no to her. It's almost impossible. One of her biggest things is hanging around in the kitchen, talking to the head chef, Gavin. While she's there, she puts everyone on edge and Ashton cops a lot of that. She meddles, that's what she does. With good intentions, of course...

Anyway, I was standing beside the post mix gun, as Kylie filled up a jug with coke and a jug with water, listening to her complaint. She told me that our boss had been in the kitchen, as usual, and she had been standing in front of the place where the kitchen keep their knives. Kylie reached for her knife and was polishing it while having bad thoughts about sticking that knife somewhere. Into someone. She said that it kind of scared her because she was so calm while thinking it, when previously thoughts of the like had been thought in anger. I understand where she's coming from. She needs her holiday.

Tuesday night was okay too. Fran was on as well as me, Tim, Damien and Lauren. It wasn't a bad night. Kylie wasn't on, unfortunately. We had fun. The night ended with Tim and I doing cutlery. Wow, there's a favourite past time. We ran out of teaspoons and had to find some for the coffee stations. I brought some file folders home for my mum to put her recipe's in. Bendigo bank had left them there and obviously they didn't want them so I took them. Handy.

Tonight was not such a good night. I felt unhappy, hence the start of this post. Tonight, besides the kitchen staff, there was Damien, Tim, Glen and me. It started off well, actually. Our boss was in the kitchen; I was told to do some cutlery; Damien and Glen were doing their things, it was all good. Nearing the end of the night, Tim began to talk to one of the guest who had just held a function there and had a buffet dinner. That was fine. After Tim had been talking for a while, The other two kept coming to me and complaining, and some of their arguments were valid. It started to get me down, however and in the end, I just didn't care anymore. The night was ruined for me. I finished the set up I was doing and, in a bid to get myself out of the funk I was in, I took a break, had something to eat and drink and sat down to think.

Earlier on in the night, Tim and I had a small talk about my future and what I was doing at the moment. I told him about how I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue on with school and he said that if I didn't, there was a possibility that I could get a lot more shifts there and even be trained to do his and Hayley's job. That sounded good to me, but I wasn't really sure what to say. Tim told me that I should talk to our boss about it. The thing is, I don't really find her that approachable. She cool and all, but she's pretty intimidating. He offered to speak to her for me, but I wasn't sure about that either. The thing is, I may be going to Broome next year and it wouldn't do any good to train me up, and then have me leave 6 months later. That is my dilemma. To stay or to go? It is going to bug me. It's also one of the things that is getting me down. How am I going to decide? What do I want?

So that was plaguing me as I drank my lemon, lime and bitters. I also thought about how the teamwork has gone from work. No one has communication anymore. Damien, who mostly takes care of the cafe, never gets informed of anything, so when he comes into work, he finds things half done (or not done at all), and has to do them quickly before he sets the restaurant.

Like cutlery, for example. One of our staff members wasn't in for work today, so the cutlery didn't get done. Damien didn't know that and turned up for work as usual. He had to do cutlery, which I ended up doing for the most part, so he could set. No one talks to each other anymore. There is a lot of discord there at the moment, it sucks. We need a staff meeting so everyone can air their grievances, the thing is, I don't think anyone will. They'll just pretend everything is fine. I hate it.

But what can I do? Nothing. Not many people seem to listen to me, anymore. At work or anywhere else. I hate complaining, I sound like I'm whining when I re-read it, but I can't help it. No one seems to speak to me anymore unless they want something. Except Katie.

Whoops...

Well, the past few days have been exciting... My sister is so traumatised by a bully that she faked sick for two days to get out of going to school; my mum's birthday was on Tuesday, as you know; Kitty and I tried out Domino's pizza which just opened up in Traralgon (this was a big thing for us, we've been waiting for a while... There is also one coming to Morwell, possibly Mid Valley...) TAFE started up again today and I had GFS tonight.

And after GFS, guess what happened... Something that has only ever happened to me once before. I locked my keys in my car! The last time I did it was at Phillip Island in November last year. The RACV guy was really cool, though. Nice guy. We had a little chat.

I don't know how I did it. I put my keys in my bag, as I always do, and when I got out of the car I realised that I'd left my drink in there, so when I went for my keys to open the door, they weren't there. I couldn't see them so I got Erin to get me a torch. They were on the floor of the passenger side of the car. Go figure. I have no idea how they ended up there. I got them back, that's the main thing... The whole point of having them on the lanyard is so I don't do what I did.

Now I'm sitting here playing Dog's Life on the Playstation, freezing because I'm not smart enough to turn the heater on... maybe I'll do that. I'm cold. My jacket just isn't enough warmth.

Ooh, I'm getting a mocha. That'll keep me warm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUM!!

Happy 51st birthday, mum. You're 51 one now, getting old. HA! July 4th, America's Independance Day. Independant? They were that, when?

Life... is being called in for work.

This past week has been the funnest ever! I mean, it's been more fun than I could actually handle. I worked 5 days out of seven, altogether not bad. That was the easy part. The Monday was crap, I worked with Hayley. Nuff said, really. Wednesday would have been a good night as Hayley wasn't supposed to work. She swapped her shift with someone else because she wanted the weekend off. Luckily, she left halfway through the night so she could go home and have dinner.

Friday night was really bad. I was called in for it, too, which sucked. The cafe was full, with a table (or 3, technically) of 36 people, a table of 10 and a table of 4 (who were VIP's). The Private Dining Room had people in it too, so the night was filled with crazy running around, and all of it was done by Hayley. I looked after the group in the dining room, even though I would have been much more useful in the actual Cafe. I coasted through the night, watching with some amount of amusement as Hayley ran this way then that way, always rushing around while I calmly worked.

More than one customer has remarked on the way Hayley's always rushing around. She never seems to stop. Friends of Kylie's have also commented on this. She ruins the atmosphere in the cafe when she scuttles through. That and the fact that it's her. Hardly anyone likes her. She's so deluded.

Anyway, she kept trying to get people to do stuff for her, even though we all had our own stuff to do. In the end, whenever she asked me "Are you busy?" I'd stroll calmly into the cafe and just say "Yep." She wanted everyone to do here job when the reason she was so strung out was because she did it to herself. Things could have been much easier for her but no... she had to do things her way. No one was allowed to touch the table of four because they were really important, so she took it upon herself to serve them. The thing is, she sucks. Any one of us would have been a better choice.

When it came time for our breaks, we found that Hayley had taken it upon herself to get staff meals for us. Kerry, one of the girls that was working that night, came up to me and told me that Hayley was being really nice to her. Like over-the-top nice. The word she used was "Creepy". I felt the same way. I had sort of let my irritation with her be known at the start of the night. She told me to do something that I really didn't agree with so I huffed at her and threw my pen on the bench then walked off on her and did what she asked. Don't know if she actually noticed though. Man, she really is full of stupid ideas.

Saturday night I was called into work. I was in the middle of Mid Valley, when my phone rang. Fran wanted me to come into work as the trainee called in sick. I really wished I hadn't. The night sucked big time. Damien and I were the only ones on, besides the kitchen staff. We took care of the cafe and motel on our own. It was bad. I spent half an hour with a guest who had just checked in because the lights in her room wouldn't work and she needed to work. Long story short, I gave her a comp upgrade and moved her to a room I knew was fine. She was happy with that, unfortunately, while I was doing that, Damien was getting over his head in the cafe. People were coming in left and right and we were just swamped, not to mention the Private Dining Room was again, filled with people also. It would have been an easy night, but everyone came in at once, so we couldn't handle it. We got through it though; it was just the initial rush that screwed us over.

Nights like that can happen, but I hope they never happen to me again. I felt so exhausted at the end. My feet hurt, and I was feeling a little light-headed. Should have actually drank something, huh? I worked Sunday too, but that was cool. Now I'm sitting at home, watching a funny movie and just plain relaxing. It feels good.

My mum's birthday is tomorrow. I brought her a new purse. She likes it. Anyhoo... My sister is back from Mildura and is already causing havoc. She didn't go to school today (her first day back at school) because she was feeling sick. As mum pointed out, she was fine last night while she was sitting in front of the heater eating ice-cream. She did the same thing tonight. She is so faking it. The little tramp.

Happy Birthday...

It would have been my Nana's birthday today. I don't even know how old she'd have been. I'm not sure if anyone but my Pop knew her actual age. My Nana died not long after my sister, Erin, was born. She was my whole world. I loved her more than anything in this world and I knew I was her favourite. She told me as such so many times.

Unconsciously, to make the day go faster, I cleaned up my room, really cleaned it. I went through tons of drawers and cubby holes, threw out loads of paperwork and junk that I no longer need. Just to keep myself busy. No one seems to know how much I miss her. No one really cares. I mentioned to my dad a couple of years ago that it was her birthday and he just said, "So?". She was his mother. I haven't mentioned it since.

I still think about her often. A lot of my actions are... curbed because I like to think that she is watching over me. There are so many things I wish I could say to her, so many thing I wish I could do for her, but I can't. I want to apologise to her for being angry at her when she died, I want to sing for her like she asked me too, instead of refusing her wish, I want to hug her again, I want to feel safe, but I know I can't and sometimes, that really hurts.

I found a biography this morning while I was cleaning my room. I'd written it in year 7, for Social Studies. For the past few years, I've been more than upset with myself because I couldn't remember exactly when my Nana had died. Was it in 1995, which was when I was in Grade five? I was sure that I was at Elizabeth St when It happened. Or was it 1994? The year Erin was born because I distinctly remember that Nana never got to see Erin again, after she was born. The biography had, in big numbers, her date of death listed as 3/11/1995. Now I know.

She's been gone 11 years this year and I'm the only one that cares. I realised something else not long ago. I have no emotions. Sometimes I feel like a robot. I look inside myself and there is nothing there. I don't feel anger, in fact, the only time I can actually remember getting really angry was when I was watching Farenheight 9/11. I don't feel joy; I can't list one moment when I've felt especially happy. I know I love people, but the feeling is just not there when I look.

Greg says I'm detached and I think he's right. I think I know when it started too, the detached feeling. I pinned it to when Nana died. I was 11, so when she died, she took some part of me with her, something I'll never get back. I think another part is because I was so angry with her when she died. She'd made promises to me and she hadn't kept them. I hated her for that. Pretty quickly I learnt how futile that was. Now, I just miss her. I'll see her again, I know she's waiting for me. I just wish I wasn't the only one in my world who cared.

Happy Birthday, Nana.

Nightmares

I had work again last night. I knew from the start that it wasn't going to be a good night. I was working alongside Hayley. I could never have even guessed just how bad it would be.

The night started off slowly, as it usually does. There was the usual cleaning up after departed functions, setting up of the bar (which I forgot to do), helping out at reception and the fixing of minor details for the function. As soon as I signed on, I was dismissed by Hayley, "Food needs to come out for the that group". That was the details she gave me. That's it.

Confused, I waited there for a moment, expecting a bit more from her, but it never came. Shrugging, I headed into the kitchen where Kylie was and asked her where the food was going. She thought it was going to one of the function rooms. The function room in question had about 15 people in it. The food was for 10. I didn't think that was right. Kylie didn't either. It turned out, the food was for the women who were sitting in the lounge, waiting for the meeting to finish.

That was the first hiccup of the night. It just proceeded to get worse after that. Little by little.

I was made to do the entire function on my own. Normally, I wouldn't mind, as my other supervisor, Tim, usually has me look after a function solo, too... The difference was that when I do a function for Tim, he actually comes around fairly often to see if I need any help. He actually asks me if I'm okay, offers help. Hayley, once I've started the function, will ignore me for most of the night, only turning up when she figures she should, out of duty. I didn't even have a chance to say, "no, I'm okay. Everything is under control."

She's not a good supervisor, despite having worked at a major hotel in Melbourne long ago. A short way into the night, before the food had even come out, she was already pissing me off, taking orders for drinks, then passing it off to me, nor writing down what she took out, then telling me and expecting me to remember what she said. As if I can remember a muttered "2 Sterlings, 3 Crowns, 2 glasses of chardonnay and 2 bottles of the Woolpunda" as she quickly walks past while I'm serving 2 Cascade light to some customers. I only can just remember it now!

While clearing the entrees (which were soups, so, heavy!) I cleared almost the whole room on my own; Hayley turned up as I was starting the last table. She "helped".

It was the same for main course. Things changed after desserts were brought out, though. The soups for the entrees had been pumpkin and minestrone. There was some left over so staff got them. Seeing as though it was my function, by rights, I get first choice of food. Damien, head of cafe, came and asked me if I wanted the soup. "I don't want soup" was my reply. So he claimed the minestrone for himself. There was sticky date pudding for dessert. There were extras of that also. Damien came to see me. "Are you having the sticky date?" "I don't eat sticky date" I replied. He was happy.

Anyway,back to the point of this. Later on, after desserts, I was doing tea and coffee (sort of. I had to get Fran to help me because the coffee hadn't been made and there was no sugar and creamers on the table) and I was frantically bringing out the creamers set. I kicked the storeroom door open, since my hands were full and I heard a loud, shocked "Oh!" and a crash.

Hayley had been coming out of the kitchen with Damien's soup (no one knows why, though we suspect it's because she wants him)and I had kicked the door into her. I felt so bad. To sum it up, I cleaned it up, with a smile on my face because I had hurt her, even by accident. I felt so guilty though. I had been talking to Kylie earlier on, asking her if I could punch Hayley. It seemed like fate. I still feel bad about it.

On my break later, which went for longer than it should have, Kylie came in and talked to me, since the kitchen was finished, and she told me that after I had accidentally rammed the door into Hayley, the woman had stormed into the kitchen cursing my name. "Fucking Amber, spilt soup everywhere. She knocked the fucking door into me". Kylie's just gone, "hang on, it's not Amber's fault".

It was a bad night. It got marginally better when Hayley left. Kylie cheered me up at the end of the night too. Thanks. I appreciate it. Damien wasn't happy at the end of the night either. We talked about it and we both agree; this place would run a lot smoother if she wasn't there.

Inconsideration

Some people are so inconsiderate, only ever thinking about themselves...

I arrived at work this afternoon for my usual Sunday shift only to find a very unhappy houskeeper. Apparently, she and another housekeeper had been cleaning the rooms that morning and the second HK had left early; without letting her colleague know. Shirley, the one who was left, was so pissed. Understandably so.

The housekeepers work in teams, they always have. One team does the outside rooms, one teams does the back wing and another team does the front wing. On Sunday's however, the program changes as there are only two people on, unless we're really busy, so they split the rooms between them. Shirley told the other HK to clean the outside rooms, which at the time consisted of 3 stays (people who are still staying) and 1 check out. Logically when she finished, she should have gone down to the other rooms to help out Shirley. She did not.

Shirley had also given her the task of stripping the beds of the rooms they were leaving for the next day. She was supposed to do that before she did anything else. She did not. Later, when Shirley checked to see what the other HK had done (as she had not been informed before her surprise departure). Turns out the other HK had done none of the jobs she was supposed to have done. All she did was the few rooms. She was supposed to dishes as well. There were stacks in the kitchen that she was supposed to wash. She did not.

That's where the inconsideration comes in. The HK just left, leaving Shirley to finish up on her own, which took her way longer than it should have. What made her shift even longer was the fact that she had to go through the rooms to see what had and hadn't been done. She was not happy when she left at almost two thirty. By rights, she should have finished at about twelve.

When you're working with someone, as a team of sorts, you should keep them in mind. Know what they are doing and see how you can make their jobs easier. I do that all the time when I'm working in the cafe. The cafe is not my territory. I'm more of a reception and function worker, but when I am put in there, I am very conscious of how much work is being done and how much needs to be done. As I'm working, I constantly think about how I can make the cafe staff's jobs that little bit easier, and then I do it. A little consideration goes a long way, I'm sure you've heard.

It shit me that the HK, who has another job and only works when we need her, just left Shirley hanging like that. Shirley rocks. She's one of the coolest people in that place.

It wasn't right. Other than that, work was pretty good. Great night. Quiet. The way I like it.

The end...

Well, my reign at work is over. The head chef is back from holidays and is now staying over at work himself. I am now back at home after a week away from it. It's kinda a let down. He was supposed to be going away with his girlfriend for the weekend, giving him some time to recover from his trip back from Thailand, but, no, he didn't want to do that.

Oh well... it's all over and done with now. Although, I'm not entirely happy to be home, but it's where i should be. After all, my brother, who has already raided the hell out of my room, is down from Mildura for the school holidays. He stole my headphones, relocated my DVD player, used my TV and the Playstation 2 and he made my room smell like socks. Eww. Who needs enemies when you have family members like him...

I got a new phone, he seemed to like the idea of getting my old one. As if. The new phone is really cool. I've never had one like this before. I can't stop fiddling with it. I charged it last night and it's already almost dead. Oops.

It's all, work, work, work...

So I stayed over at work on Sunday night. My bosses are in Thailand, as you know, and someone has to stay here to man the fort, so to speak. I was chosen (that sounds so Matrixish) to do Sunday night, but when I woke up Monday morning, I found that I was supposed to be doing the rest of the week as well. My supervisor, Hayley, had neglected to call me and inform me of that fact.

I had to drive home mid Monday, I stopped off at Mid Valley to see Kitty first, and I packed enough clothes to last me the week. A little bit more notice would have been appreciated. That way, my brother wouldn't have scammed a ride from me to get downtown.

I worked Monday night also. With Hayley. That was not the most pleasant experience. She has a knack for making me feel as though I am a newbie, as though I have only just started here and have no idea what I am doing. I feel as though I haven't learnt a thing in the 2 1/2 years that I have been working here.

The thing that pissed me off was that Hayley is supposed to be the supervisor. That means she is responsible for us, and she is supposed to act as a role model for us. She is anything but! One of the main things that drive me crazy at work is the phone. It rings non-stop, and the tone is just plain annoying (presumably so we'd answer it quicker). Hayley will not answer the phone. It will ring and ring and ring until she realises that no one else is going to get it and picks it up. It's frustrating. Last week, when I was working and cleaning out one of the function rooms, the reception phone began to ring. It rang and rang and as I was heading to the kitchen to put some stuff away, I saw that Hayley was standing right beside the phone, seemingly ignoring it. That shit me. I said, in a nice voice, "Do you want me to answer that?". She huffed and said grudgingly, "No, I'll get it. Don't worry."

Great attitude there. Nice work ethic. Moron.

Kylie made it a fun night though. Her mood was off the charts. She was in the best mood I've ever seen her in since I first started here. It was highly amusing to watch her try to do dirty things to Michael and Charlie. Michael had also just taught her how to do the "shuffle" which was his stupid-ass version of the running man from the eighties. She ran around the establishment all night (while milking her hours) doing the dance for anyone who would watch. She showed me at least three times. Very entertaining. One of the customers actually asked her what drugs she was on. I believe her answer was "I'm not taking any, I'm just naturally stupid." We all laughed.

Not only that, but a customer hit on me that same night, and I'm not used to that kind of thing. It was odd! He's done it again since then. Actually invited me to his room. Eww!! He's a nice guy though, must be lonely.

Good food, better freebies...

Well, I just got home from my stay in Melbourne. As I'd mentioned earlier, my mum, my sister, my friend Rhiannon and myself were the ones to go. The Good Food and Wine show was pretty good; smaller than last year, though.

We left home early, way too early for there to even be a time appointed to it... and got to Melbourne just after nine. We dropped the car off in the carparking bay at the place where we were staying and caught the tram from StKilda to The Exhibition Center.

The show was packed. People were everywhere and I quickly lost myself in them. I lost Rhiannon and the others fairly quickly, it was very easy to do that, but we eventually met up while walking around. In the end, I brought some Lindt chocolate, after watching a demonstration and getting a free sample and I brought a drink bottle to support the Think Pink Breast Cancer fund thing...

Freebies wise... I had noodles, chicken and tomato and basil rice, yoghurt, chocolate (there was a lot of that floating around, even wine flavoured chocs), many drinks (V, the new Mixt drink, water, cranberry juice, mineral water, new juices) new dips and crackers and a few other nibbles.

We also got free showbags at the entrance because we had the tickets they'd sent out to us, free espresso cups (six of them, though we were only supposed to have one each). To get the cups, you had to fill out a entry form at the Mazda stand to win a trip to Italy. Each entry got a cup. They're really cute. They're little and black.

After the show, we went to Federation square to see the red rods that were recently put there. Didn't see what the fuss was about, really. We, meaning me and Rhiannon, went to Crown after that and we watched the blackjack tables for a while. It was really interesting. At the roulette table, we watched as one guy was handed three $1000 chips and a few stacks of $25 chips. Our eyes almost popped out of our heads.

I got bored pretty quickly when Rhiannon was leading me around Crown, but we had some fun watching the big guns play. I needed the escape of Crown Casino. It was the same problems as my first post. I guess i was feeling smothered. I don't know why i continue to feel this way but i keep getting irritated by my family. I love them, of course i do, but lately it just seems like they are out to annoy me. One of my pet hates is repetition. I hate when people repeat themselves, and mum seems to be doing that to me a lot. You don't really want to hear about that though...

When we got back to the motel, we went and got dinner at the NYPD (New York Pizza Department, I'm assuming) and the pizza's were, no joking, 18" and they were friggin huge! Rhiannon and I got one between us and we couldn't eat it. It was a massive pizza. Biggest I've seen.

Rhiannon and I went to a bar later on, she wanted to see if we could pick up any guys, but I wasn't having a bar of it. I have Greg, duh! Mum's snoring kept her awake some of the night which I found funny.

This morning we dropped Erin off at the Spencer St train station so she could travel to Mildura with Vonnie. She's been gone for over eight hours now. I miss my baby. We swapped her for my brother, Shannon. He's been home since ten this morning.

Before we went home, we played the pokies at Crown, Rhiannon won some money on Blackjack, and now I'm home.

I shouldn't have driven, though. On the way home, as it was getting dark, I found myself drifting. Not from the road, in my mind. As I was driving, I sort of receded into my own head and didn't concentrate on the road. I tried, I actually really tried to concentrate but my mind wouldn't do it, I worried myself. I got to thinking about the car in front of me. It's numberplate was TIM 787 and I found myself thinking about who Tim was and what he would be like. No matter what I did, shook my head to clear it, had a drink of water, turned on the music in the car, but I still couldn't shake myself out of it.

I almost pulled over to let mum drive just before we hit Warragul, but I kept going. We made it home which is the important thing.

I'm all written out now, so goodnight. I'm getting an early night, need to replenish sleep.

Confessions of a Hospitality Worker

Wow, that title sounds familiar, and is very apt for this story i'm going to share. You see, i work in a motel/restaurant in my local area. Recently, in my writing course, I did an exposé, a behind the scenes of the place where I work and Confessions of a Hospitality Worker was my title for it.

Anyway, at the moment my bosses are in Thailand for a holiday and our head chef has gone also. His second in command, we'll call her Kylie, is in charge while he is gone and that means that if anything goes wrong, it's on her head. Last night I was working with one of my supervisors (the one i don't really like anymore) and she made me feel, within an hour of being there, that I hadn't learnt anything in the past two years that I had been working for them.

My annoyance deepened when I was left to look after a function completely on my own (not that I couldn't handle it, quite the opposite, actually) but she didn't offer to help, just left me alone and that pissed me off. She came back to help take out the desserts and tea and coffee, but that was it.

Now we get to the good part. About halfway through the night, my supervisor, we'll call her Hayley, went into the kitchen and asked if Kylie could make her up a bowl of chips as she was hungry. Kylie immediately said that that was fine, and asked her if she would like some flathead tails as well as they had some ready that they could give her. She agreed fairly quickly.

I left the kitchen after that, but about twenty minutes later, Hayley came into to see me in the store room and offered me some of her dinner. I'm not a big seafood eater, I try to steer clear of it because I'm not a big fan of it, but Hayley asked me if I wanted some and my immediate reaction was to say no. Lucky that I did, as I was to soon find out.

Later on in the night, I went back into the kitchen to drop some cups off for washing and Michael was at the sink, washing up. When I entered, a huge smile crossed his face and he said to me, "Did you hear what we did to Hayley's food?" My immediate reaction was suspicion. Michael told me they had dipped the flathead tails in dishwashing liquid, then dropped them on the floor, then cooked them up for Hayley. I was shocked, but then I thought, 'no, they wouldn't have done that' so I told him I didn't believe him and left the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, I returned to put more things away and Kylie was at the dishwasher this time. As I was putting the stuff I was carrying down, she looked at me and said, "Did you hear what we did to Hayley's food?" I looked at Michael then back at her. I couldn't tell if they were serious, but it seemed like it.

Kylie gave me the full story. What happened was; they had soaked the flathead tails in water for a majority of the day, then they had soaked them in the water the vegies had been cooked in, then they had dipped them in the water the washing up had been done in (not the dishwashing liquid) and then they had accidentally dropped them on the floor. They then, of course, cooked them up and gave them to Hayley.

As far as I know, she wasn't sick from it. Funny though, very funny... Kylie doesn't like Hayley and it's not exactly a little known fact, so for her to do this was just hilarious. Yes, the prank may have been wrong, but I know the kitchen staff and they would never have done something like this if it would actually harm someone.

I was given a staff meal too, but it was the same food the function people had gotten, so I knew it was safe. They like me.

Luna Park

Well, even though today was below freezing, me and a group of about thirty other people went to Luna Park. It was so amazingly fun, even though my hands and face felt as though they were frost bitten and about to fall off my face, and it was because my friend Katie came with me.

Kate had never been to Luna Park before whereas I had been twice before. She had a ball which was really cool. We went on every ride there, with the exception of the scenic rollercoaster, which was closed fpr repaires, the Ranger, we don't know why it was closed, and the dodgem cars.... I took a million photos with my digital camera and they turned out really well. I even like the ones of me... That almost never happens... The last photos i liked of myself were the ones taken at McDonalds for my 21st birthday... I had ice-cream cake and everything!


After the first few rides, which consisted of the larger rollercoater, two goes on the G-Force, which spins you around really fast and the ride that just drops you from a certain height, my stomach was not feeling very healthy. To give it time to settle, Kitty and I went on the Merry-go-round or "Carousel" as i was told, and the Ferris wheel, which was the first time i'd ever been on that ride, but with the way i was feeling, i was ready for something sissy like...

To make matters worse, just after that we got lunch, then, after another round of rides, Kitty and I got coffee and took photos of Fiona on the Merry-go-round... she's 30 yrs. It was funny... Straight after that we stole some fairy floss off the young girls we were with and i was once again, not feeling my best... The fairy floss was the worst offender. Tasted really good, though... like musk...

While I lined up to go on the rolercoaster again, one of the leaders i was with came up and asked me if i'd seen one of the girls. Apparently, they assumed she was missing because no one could remember seeing her. Luckily, i had seen her about fifteen minutes previously, with someone none of us knew (she got told off for that) and was supposed to have gone to find some one she came with. That hadn't happened. No one was happy when she was finally found.

Although we had one of those handy unlimited rides bands (just flash them and the ride controllers let you on) Katie and I decided that we wanted to play some carnival games, eg. the clowns and the dart games. In the end, I won a tiara (which was really cool because I've never had one of those before), a tiger, which Kate wanted (but she got a dragon that I wanted, oh well), and a koala. The Koala is really soft. Now I have to name them. Annabelle and Sarah also got Koalas. Sarah named hers Koko and Annabelle named hers Cocoa. Same name, different spelling. Ugh...

At the gift shop on the way out, I brought a luna Park lanyard and a deck of cards, which I collect. I also collect pens but I didn't see any there. Kayla brought a pencil, but that wasn't what I wanted.

We'll that's me out. I'm going to the Good Food and Wine Show this weekend at the Melbourne Exhibition Center and I'm really looking forward to it. My mum, my sister me and my friend Rhiannon are going. Should be a great.

War

This is a poem i wrote ages ago and i do mean ages ago. I showed it to my teacher and have shown it to one other person since then. I don't know why i wrote it. I was sitting listening to a talk at the Melbourne Writer's festival when I started it. It just came into my head. I'm not a very political person, in fact, i steer clear of politics whenever i can, so it was odd that this came out of me. I like it though, as i do most of the stuff i write, so i'm posting it here for you to see.

Greg, my boyfriend, is trying to push soccer on me as i type, but it is not going to happen. I don't do sport. I watch the football occasionally, but that's pretty much as far as it goes. He can try all he likes but it ain't happening.

My cat's prowling around my room at the moment as well and it is very distracting.

Anyway, here is my piece:


War


War.
Children dying, families suffering,
Why?
To fuel an ego? Pacify a nation?
Destroy a way of life to end an imaginary tyranny.
Do imaginary weapons create imaginary deaths?
Let flow imaginary blood?

Soldiers fight for the wrong cause, for no cause.
Families are torn apart by death, loss,
Hatred for the politics that killed their children.
To take a stand or not take a stand, that is the question.
To take a stand against the injustice of it all,
To fight to save innocent lives

But is it simply a matter of saving lives or taking lives?
Is everything that black and white?
No! Nothing is.
To be at war with a country, yet friends with its prince,
Is a form of treason, is it not?
To sit in offices and mountain hideaways,
drinking whisky or rum, while the little people fight their battles for them.

Soldiers are cut down one by one.
All nameless to the big men.
Just another body to fight a war of convenience;
A fake war.
A war that was fought in the wrong place, against the wrong people.
Why?
To save face, to scramble to regain what has been taken away so brutally.
Pride, security, hope.



I think it came from the war on Iraq, when Bush sent everyone in for no reason. I saw Michael Moore's film Farenheight 9/11 and, although i know it was sensationalised, it was the first thing i saw, ever, that truly made me angry, that truly made me hate someone.

My teacher, Catherine, told me it was too rhetorical and i have to agree. It is, but i think it works okay that way. She's a smart woman and she doesn't get enough credit for all she does.

I've been talking recently about moving to Broome, a town in Western Australia, and the more i think about ti, the more likely it's becoming that i'll go there. If not there, then i want to go to Cairnes, up in Queensland. I just want to get out of Victoria, try something new. I want to be able to say that i've done things, that i tried. There are some good jobs going in both of those places right now, but if i do go, it won't be til the start of next year at least.

A few people have alread expressed interest in coming with me, Greg included and it'd be cool if i had company. Never did like going anywhere on my own. I usually drag my mum with me when i go somewhere. She loves me.

Well, this post has to come to an end. I have some writing to do, on my fanfiction and my fantasy novel, so we'll see how they go.... I have work tomorrow too which should be cool. I wwork at a restaurant/motel and tommorrow is the day i get things clean for the start of the week. It's funny, i like cleaning up at work, but i detest doing it at home. Hmm.

Oh well.



War © Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

Helpless

This is a poem i wrote while i was watching a football game on television (Football as in AFL, not soccer). As you may quickly notice, it has nothing whatsoever to do with football. I saw one of the players get winded and i remembered that feeling from when i was a kid. My brother did it to me once and i will never forget how... well, helpless, i felt. It was horrible.


Helpless

It hits you,
It hits you hard and you fall.
You go somewhere dark,
Somewhere where the light recedes
And
Leaves you in the black;
Scared, alone.
Can’t breathe,
Can’t talk,
Can’t scream.
You’re just;
Helpless.


© Copyright Amber Hinds 2006

The manditory first post

Well, this is my second foray into blogging, as i previously started one in Myspaces but i was informed that that was not a good place. I never wanted to start a blog, had no interest in it whatsoever but today i felt the need to sit and wite something, tell someone how i was feeling and this seemed the next best course of action to me (my closest friend is at work).

I go to a writing course two days a week as i have been for the past two years (this is my third and definately my last). This year for me has been what i call a filler; I'm there because if i wasn't, i'd be sitting on my ass at home doing jack shit and wasting my time. Plus, my boyfriend goes and it gives me more time with him. Anyway, this year has been a year of disappointment with me, not because of the classes or the teacher, Catherine is great, but i know i'm not putting my all into it and i can't help but feel angry at myself. I can't seem to do anythng about it, either. The problem is, i got my Certificate in one year instead of two and i got my Diploma last year so i'm there for no real reason this year. My mind had automatocally made the leap of "Why should i do this? I don't have to and i don't need to". I don't need to pass this course as i already have the qualifications it can give me, but my concience won't let me simply turn up to class and do nothing, neither will the teachers.

Damned if i do, damned if i don't, as far as i am concerned. The two classes i am doing are complete opposites. One is Myths and the other is Non fiction project. I have an interest in food writing as i have a base in hospitality, so i thought the non fic class was the way to go. Boy, was i wrong. Instead of being able to do what i want, i was practically pushed into my assignment by my teacher (who is a fantastic person, by the way) and i have no interest in it whatsoever, even though we are doing presentation on them tomorrow. It sucks!

I feel as though my life is not my own and there is nothing i can do about it. I live at home with my mum and my sister and although i love them dearly, i can't help but feel they are holding me back, they are pushing me, like my teacher, into things i don't want. Maybe it's just me, but it's a feeling i've been having for a while and i can't seem to shake. Perhaps it is because i am the eldest child that my mother is so... not clingy and not pushy, but something along those lines, i can't describe it!

As much as i love her, i need my space and that is not possble at this juncture. Other people have rule over my life; my boss, supervisor, mum, teachers, children's leader... Ugh, sorry for babbling on....

So, as you can tell, i've been feeling very frustrated as of late. Anyway, now that that is over, here are a few things about me; My name is Amber. I am 21 soon to be 22. I live in Australia and i love this country. I am a proud Aussie, can't you tell? That's enough for now.... if you want more, read my profile.

Thanks for listening... well, reading....