So many problems, so little time.

Sometimes, I really wish I was elsewhere... Things haven't been going that well lately and I don't really know what to do about it. I think I'm unhappy. I've never really been happy so I'm not really sure.

I've been working a bit lately. I helped Fran out with a busy breakfast on Sunday, (I wasted an hour of her time just talking to her after my shift was over) after which I went to Greg's. I was called in on Monday night, as the cafe got busy and that shift was okay, I had fun. Kylie and Ashton have a habit of asking me how Greg is now and it makes me suspicious... I think that's why they do it. They're fun.

During the night, Kylie came up to me and confessed that she'd felt like stabbing one of our bosses. We have two bosses, one male and one female. They're also married. The female one has a habit of getting in everyone's way. I know she means well, but it is more than annoying when you're in a rush and she stops you to do something else. You can't say no to her. It's almost impossible. One of her biggest things is hanging around in the kitchen, talking to the head chef, Gavin. While she's there, she puts everyone on edge and Ashton cops a lot of that. She meddles, that's what she does. With good intentions, of course...

Anyway, I was standing beside the post mix gun, as Kylie filled up a jug with coke and a jug with water, listening to her complaint. She told me that our boss had been in the kitchen, as usual, and she had been standing in front of the place where the kitchen keep their knives. Kylie reached for her knife and was polishing it while having bad thoughts about sticking that knife somewhere. Into someone. She said that it kind of scared her because she was so calm while thinking it, when previously thoughts of the like had been thought in anger. I understand where she's coming from. She needs her holiday.

Tuesday night was okay too. Fran was on as well as me, Tim, Damien and Lauren. It wasn't a bad night. Kylie wasn't on, unfortunately. We had fun. The night ended with Tim and I doing cutlery. Wow, there's a favourite past time. We ran out of teaspoons and had to find some for the coffee stations. I brought some file folders home for my mum to put her recipe's in. Bendigo bank had left them there and obviously they didn't want them so I took them. Handy.

Tonight was not such a good night. I felt unhappy, hence the start of this post. Tonight, besides the kitchen staff, there was Damien, Tim, Glen and me. It started off well, actually. Our boss was in the kitchen; I was told to do some cutlery; Damien and Glen were doing their things, it was all good. Nearing the end of the night, Tim began to talk to one of the guest who had just held a function there and had a buffet dinner. That was fine. After Tim had been talking for a while, The other two kept coming to me and complaining, and some of their arguments were valid. It started to get me down, however and in the end, I just didn't care anymore. The night was ruined for me. I finished the set up I was doing and, in a bid to get myself out of the funk I was in, I took a break, had something to eat and drink and sat down to think.

Earlier on in the night, Tim and I had a small talk about my future and what I was doing at the moment. I told him about how I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue on with school and he said that if I didn't, there was a possibility that I could get a lot more shifts there and even be trained to do his and Hayley's job. That sounded good to me, but I wasn't really sure what to say. Tim told me that I should talk to our boss about it. The thing is, I don't really find her that approachable. She cool and all, but she's pretty intimidating. He offered to speak to her for me, but I wasn't sure about that either. The thing is, I may be going to Broome next year and it wouldn't do any good to train me up, and then have me leave 6 months later. That is my dilemma. To stay or to go? It is going to bug me. It's also one of the things that is getting me down. How am I going to decide? What do I want?

So that was plaguing me as I drank my lemon, lime and bitters. I also thought about how the teamwork has gone from work. No one has communication anymore. Damien, who mostly takes care of the cafe, never gets informed of anything, so when he comes into work, he finds things half done (or not done at all), and has to do them quickly before he sets the restaurant.

Like cutlery, for example. One of our staff members wasn't in for work today, so the cutlery didn't get done. Damien didn't know that and turned up for work as usual. He had to do cutlery, which I ended up doing for the most part, so he could set. No one talks to each other anymore. There is a lot of discord there at the moment, it sucks. We need a staff meeting so everyone can air their grievances, the thing is, I don't think anyone will. They'll just pretend everything is fine. I hate it.

But what can I do? Nothing. Not many people seem to listen to me, anymore. At work or anywhere else. I hate complaining, I sound like I'm whining when I re-read it, but I can't help it. No one seems to speak to me anymore unless they want something. Except Katie.